In university, we played a game that was essentially a simulation of life. We had to make choices that determined our future—education, extracurriculars, apartment sizes, tutors, etc. We rolled two dice, aiming for a total of 4 or above, as this gave us more favourable opportunities (e.g., Russell University vs non-Russell universities, growing up in a city vs. a rural environment).
Here’s the catch: the game was rigged. Half of the group was predisposed to roll numbers above 4 (i.e., giving them more access to opportunities), while the rest was set to roll numbers below 4. The game taught us the importance of privilege, meritocracy, and class systems.
Turns out that rigged dice game isn’t just a university icebreaker. It’s basically real life every time you apply for a job.
Enter: the stoplight theory. When you are approach approach the crosswalk, sometimes you get:
The Green Light: it’s my lucky day! You get to cross and go immediately.
The Flashing Green Light: gotta speed up, but luckily you make it across!
The Red Light: you have two options—be patient and wait for the green light OR turn left or right to take a different route
Jaywalk (daredevil 🙂): take a risk and try to get to the other side without dying (or getting run over, same same)
Life is just like this. Take a job for instance.
You apply, you get the interview, you get the job (green light).
You apply, you get the interview, realise there is a theory test, you cram study, you pass, you get the job (flashing green light)
You apply, you get the interview, you don’t hear back → either you write them to follow up and wait or you apply to another job, work your way up and apply to the other company (if that is your dream)
Or use your connections and hope it gets you the job (jaywalking)
I came up with this theory to elucidate that opportunities are not all equal and everybody’s path is different. There are a hundred reasons why some might get the job and why others might be rejected, and it might have nothing to do with you. You can’t fixate on getting rejected (or getting the red light), you have to be resourceful. Figure out a way to get to that destination.
You might have to take another route that is a bit longer, but you’ll get there in the end. Rejection and patience is hard. Nobody likes it, and honestly, most people give up. But you are NOT one of them.
Some scary statistics:
35% of entry-level positions require 3 years of relevant work experience (LinkedIn)
5.6% (+1.4% last year) unemployment rate in 2026 for ages 22-27
Clearly, the cards are being stacked against Gen Z. And we can either complain or be resourceful.
Case Study:
A recent BSc Psychology graduate from Barnard wanted to work in “product management at a technology company”, applied to 200 jobs, “broadened her search to include all manner of entry-level corporate jobs and business analyst roles”, and still hasn’t found a job.
NERD ALERT
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Hebb’s Law (Canadian psychologist and pioneer of neuropsychology):
Translation — the more you complain and say that “everything is rigged against me”, the more you train your brain to reach for that thought first and believe it.
You are effectively creating a negativity bias for your life.
And Yes, a nice rant can feel good (aka you are spiking cortisol), but a sustained level of this can be detrimental to your mental and physical health.
So how do you get out of the loop? This is where Albert Bandura’s theory comes in: your belief in your own capacity (e.g. think, feel, act) directly impacts the output.
High self-efficacy increases your resilience and motivation (find the way around the red light)
Low self-efficacy results in avoiding challenges and giving up (stop at a broken red light) (you just stay put at the red light, waiting for a green that isn’t coming)
BACK TO REALITY
Become the person that has high self-efficacy. Use rejection as information and redirection.
A lived example: My mother always told me, “find a way to get a yes”. She started out cleaning mushrooms, being told she wasn’t fast enough in the kitchen, almost getting fired, having zero support. That’s a red light — she could’ve stopped there, but she didn’t. She worked hard, took the first job that got her into the company of her choice, and advocated herself into managing director. She is the “lived“ example that you get to where you want, despite the twists and turns along the way.
What you feed into your brain is the byproduct of your life. So stop the negative thinking. Stop saying the cards are against you. And start finding a way forward.
Become that future you that has the job and do the things they would do. Would they lounge around on the couch? Would they complain to their friends? No, they would dress the part. They would put themselves in coffee shops, bars, hotels where their network is. (fun fact: a friend of mine got a job at a hair dressers, so it can happen anywhere). Don’t wait to become that person you dream of, become them right now!
Next steps:
Next rejection, ask yourself: is this a red light (wait it out) or did I just jaywalk and it didn’t land? Turn the corner and find a way forward.
Vent for 5 minutes, not 5 days. Get the cortisol out, then close the tab.
Pick ONE coffee shop, event, or person to put yourself in front of this week.
And remember, I am here to support you along the way.
As always, we are always becoming,
Hazel Ann x
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Such excellent advice. I need to share with some of my students!